It seems that sharing photos on Facebook replaced baseball as the favorite pastime for digital enthusiasts. When Instagram came on the scene, celebrities embraced the photo-sharing site and Facebook grabbed it for $1billion.
Our love affair with Facebook started to wane with the multiple and confusing changes to their privacy settings. Even social media experts like myself had to study each change in detail to be able to explain it to my clients and to use it properly without offending others.
Then the big netiquette no-no happened. Mark Zuckerberg’s sister Randi posted what she thought was a private photo on Facebook, which appeared in a stranger’s tweet on Twitter. One can easily wonder how this can happen and not know the answer. Even Zuckerberg wasn’t sure why, but her public twitter engagement with @cschweitz clearly broke the rules of netiquette.
Sure when we’re upset we post before we think. Most don’t know that the Library of Congress now indexes tweets, permanently.
According to the New York Post, Zuckerberg’s older sister, Randi, complained yesterday when one of her Twitter followers publicly posted a photo of the family, including her famous brother, standing in the kitchen reacting to the company’s new Poke app.
“Not sure where you got this photo,” Randi tweeted in response @cschweitz. “I posted it only to friends on FB. You reposting it on Twitter is way uncool.”
When Garret Sloane from the New York Post called me to discuss this story that was going viral, I explained that we create a permanent digital footprint every time we post an update, photo, video, or tag people in photos, whether they appear in them or not.
I’ve always had a digital rule of thumb that when I snap a photo of someone else or a group at a party, I stop and show them the photo and ask if I can have their permission to post the photo to Facebook. If you’re automating your Facebook feed to Twitter, it’s there for the entire world-wide-web to see, even if your Facebook privacy settings are set to “friends only.”
Another rule of netiquette is to take your digital beefs privately. If you have something to say that isn’t flattering or is attacking another, send them a private message on Twitter if they’re following you. If you need to respond, do so privately and request that they follow you as well if they’re not.
“I’m just your subscriber and this was top of my newsfeed. Genuinely sorry but it came up in my feed and seemed public,” Schweitzer responded to Randi.
“Digital etiquette: always ask permission before posting a friend’s photo publicly. It’s not about privacy settings, it’s about human decency,” Randi admonished in a tweet after the photo was removed.
As I told the New York Post, social media is about: sharing experiences. If you post something on the Internet, it will be shared by strangers.
Unfortunately, we’re learning the lessons the hard way, especially when Facebook keeps changing the rules.
Julie Spira is a social media strategist and netiquette expert who writes about digital etiquette and intersection of love and technology. Julie’s the author of the “The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web” and CEO of Social Media and More.
Photo Credit – maigi – Fotolia.com
Just how social are your TV viewing habits? At the 1st annual Social TV Awards held at the Bel-Air Country Club, over 200 social media and broadcasting executives walked the red carpet and had the opportunity to vote for the Social TV “Best of Show Award.”
Social TV Summit CEO Andy Batkin curated the event and said, “One day I believe the Social TV Awards will be on par with the Academy Awards and the Emmy’s.” Master of Ceremonies Billy Bush gave his introduction via video along with an apology due to a bicycle accident injury. The Insider’s Kevin Frazier, one of the many distinguished judges, graciously stepped in to host the event, which was attended by 200 industry executives.
And the winners of the 1st Social TV Awards were:
1. Best Cable Network – USA Network, Psych Hash Tag Killer
2. Best Online Video – Team Coco, Conan O’Brien Show – Turner Broadcasting
3. Best Research Social TV Platform – Bluefin Labs, Bluefin Signals
4. Best Check-in and Loyalty – GetGlue
5. Best Social TV Companion to Home Video or DVD – Tron Disney Second Screen, TV Plus
6. Best TV Show Specific – X Factor Cross Platform Experience, Fox Broadcasting/Syco TV/FremantleMedia
7. Best Branded – Red Bull Shazam App, Shazam
8. Best Drama – Heartland Ranch – Canadian Broadcast Corporation
9. Best Social Commerce or Marketing Program – Fashion Star, Electus
10. Best Special Entertainment – Grammy’s Live – CBS Interactive
11. Best Connected TV – Amnesty International’s Secret Policeman’s Ball – EPIX
12. Best White Label Social TV Application or Solution – TIE: Mass Relevance and ECHO
13. Best Ubiquitous – ConnecTV
14. Best Social TV Integration of Facebook – The Voice 5th Coach App – NBC
15. Best Social TV Integration of Twitter – X Factor Cross Platform Experience, Fox Broadcasting/Syco TV/Fremantle
16. Best Mobile Phone, iPad or Tablet Social TV Application –The Walking Dead – Story Sync, AMC
17. Best Sports Social TV Award – Chevy Game Time, Detroit Labs
18. Best Broadcast Network – NBC, NBC Live
19. Social TV Entertainer of the Year – Andy Cohen – Host of Watch What Happens LIVE and EVP, Development & Talent, Bravo Media
20. Social TV Marketer of the Year – Jesse Redness SVP Digital, USA Network – USA
21. Social TV Best of Show – X Factor Cross Platform Experience – Fox Broadcasting/Syco TV/FremantleMedia
Top Photo – Andy Batkin, Marla Schulman, Julie Spira (L-R). Photo Credit: Social TV Daily
Lori Schwartz, Amber J. Lawson, Stephanie Piche (L-R)
Amanda Coolong (R)
Mo Krochmal and Gayl Murphy: Photo Credit Social TV Daily
For more photos from the event, visit SocialTVDaily.com
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/socialmediaandmore
It was such an honor to speak at the Women’s National Book Association’s BookWoman Day in Los Angeles.
I was so inspired by the panelists who shared their information to help authors become successful in the ever-changing publishing marketplace.
If you missed the day, I have good news for you. I shared some of my best secrets with the group that I usually cover in a full day bootcamp which costs thousands of dollars. Now you’ll have the opportunity to learn these tips while saving $200!
Many of the authors expressed concern about how much time social media would take up and wanted to know what the next steps were. How could they use social media to become a bestselling author? How can they gain media attention through social media?
I know how very precious time is, especially for writers. We need to focus on making sure our manuscripts and book proposals are nothing short of perfect. We have the one moment to capture the attention of an editor or agent. Having the stress of tweeting, using Facebook, creating custom pages just wasn’t viable for many of the attendees.
As a result, I have offered registrants a $200 discount off of my Social Media 101 private coaching sessions. This will not only give you precious time but it will save you money that you can put towards creating a great book cover, going out to dinner, or just putting it in the bank. I’m extending this special offer through March 4th to those writers who didn’t have the opportunity to come to Los Angeles.
More time for you equals more time for writing.
More tips and social media secrets from me equals building a bigger platform faster and becoming a social media superstar.
At the recent Social Media Week in Los Angeles, the introduction of social media was compared to the introduction of black and white TV. It’s powerful and it’s here to stay. I know what it’s like to be an author who needs to build a platform. I was able to successfully use social media to extend the shelf life of my book as a bestseller and I can help do the same for you.
To take advantage of this offer, click here and we’ll schedule your session. But hurry. This offer expires on Friday, March 4th at 6pm/PST.
There’s an amazing day scheduled for Los Angeles authors on Saturday, February 26, 2011 and you’re invited to attend.
LA BookWoman day is hosted by the Los Angeles chapter of the Women’s National Book Association. You’ll have the opportunity to meet agents, producers, and learn how to get published.
I’ll be there as a panelist to teach authors on how I used social media to not only help my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating become a bestseller on it’s launch date, but to extend it’s shelf life as a best-seller continuously for two years! My book helped catapult my career as a well-respected expert in my field, where I have now reached millions through media and speaking opportunities. I’m excited to share my tips with other authors on this fact-filled day.
I’ll be joined by Michelle Gilstrap, Ruth Klein, Teresa Moore, Jovita Jenkins, Julia Drake, and Joan Jackson in an all-day workshop. We’ll be talking about Facebook, Twitter, web interviews, TV interviews, how to pitch an agent, e books and more.
Julie Spira with Lisa Johnson Mandell, host of This Week in Careers on Twitter and business.
Mike Michalowicz , on the Toilet Paper Entrepreneur blog curated a list of 37 social media experts with some of our best tips on how to avoid social media blunders.
Social Media and More is proud to be on this list as the number 11 entry with our tip, Tag, You’re Not It.
Many of us are enjoying roaming down memory lane as we reconnect with people from childhood to the present. In your enthusiasm of scanning photos onto Flickr and Facebook, remember don’t tag unappealing photos of people on Facebook or post on your favorite social media sites. The man who tagged a photo of a woman from 35 years ago where she was 50 pounds heavier, got de-friended in a New York minute. When in doubt, don’t.
Thanks to Julie Spira of Social Media And More
For a complete list, visit the TPE blog
With over 500 million members on Facebook, relationship status changes have become the darling of the Internet. One can’t help but notice the red heart appear and disappear on the profiles of our friends and our new friends, better known as the friends-of-friends.
When Michelle Yarn from GalTime.com contacted me to contribute to her article on the topic, I was quick to chime in. Our interview took place over a month before the widely publicized Facebook Breakup Chart appeared on the web, created by David McCandless. We’re heading into the holiday break up season, so here are some excerpts from the post.
Breakups used to be so simple. You get dumped. You cry about it. You get advice from close friends and family. They tell you how much better off you are without him. You cut all ties from your ex. Then, eventually you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back into the game.
Yep, those were the good ole days. Those were the days before social networking sites like Facebook splattered your love life across the web like a tabloid. Now, as the Facebook gods have so conveniently pointed out, “It’s Complicated.”
I have a friend (a real life one) who was recently dumped by her boyfriend of three and a half years. When she came to me for advice it started out as your typical breakup pep talk.
While the situation will vary depending on the severity of the split, there are some basic guidelines to help you handle a breakup in the age of Facebook.
According to Julie Spira, social media/relationship expert and author of The Perils of Cyber Dating , one of the most important steps to consider is how to update your status. She says, “I don’t believe singles should constantly change their status from “single” to “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated” and back to “single” for everyone to see. Unless both parties agree on changing their status to “in a relationship” and it’s a serious relationship, no one wants to see the drama. However, it’s the most commented on update you will see on Facebook. People are just curious and want to know the juicy details. If you’re hurt, just delete your status completely to avoid the comments.”
And while many couples will decide to remain friends in real life, the same decision in the world of Facebook can be hell. “When most couples break up, it’s not usually a happy time. More often that not, one has moved on already.” Spira adds, “If you’re still hurting from the split, I suggest de-friending him or her so you don’t have the opportunity to stare at their wall. We can’t help ourselves sometimes due to the curiosity, but it delays the healing process from the one left behind.”
Kelly Spann, a marketing and publicity manager in Virginia, learned this lesson the hard way.
“First off, right after we broke up I totally put him on blast in my status. I was angry, but that definitely wasn’t a classy move. Then I didn’t de-friend him and he didn’t de-friend me. Having to see his status updates, pictures and the various other girls writing things on his wall didn’t help me get over the break up at all.”
What if you’re the one that did the dumping? Have a heart! You may be ready to move on, but the rules of netiquette say there’s no need to rub your ex’s face in it. If you remain Facebook friends, Spira suggests at least changing your privacy settings to prevent your ex from seeing your activity with your new love interest. Otherwise, your ex may find some pretty creative ways to make your single life miserable.
Facebook user Josh Gilbert says his ex knew exactly how to use the social networking site to get back at him after their nasty breakup.
“I had made plans to attend Lollapalooza with a girlfriend, but then we broke up. She went anyway, and only posted pictures of two of my favorite bands – saying to ‘no one in particular’ – ‘Live from Lollapalooza – jealous?’ I can’t prove this was an intentional dig, but I’m convinced it was.”
Even if you delete your ex, there’s still the issue of mutual friends. This one’s hard enough to handle in your day to day life, but Facebook is a whole different beast.
Spira says, “There’s no need to delete the entire world because your relationship has ended, but I do recommend changing your privacy settings in Facebook to ‘friends only.’ You can also select the privacy settings individually for each status update if you prefer, where you have the option to select ‘everyone’, ‘friends,’ or ‘friends of friends.’
Once the drama has subsided and you find yourself ready to get back into the dating scene, Spira says to proceed with caution.
“Unless you are actively ready to date again and would like to meet someone on Facebook, take a break from the status relationship change and just don’t post any relationship status at all. If you’re ready to date, go ahead and list yourself as “single” but be prepared to be hit on. It just happens.”
The Huntington News, the Independent Student Newspaper of Northeastern University recently interviewed me on the subject of how Internet networking benefits relationships. In the article, Marian Daniells talks about the positive relationships that develop when technology is used to supplement human interaction.
I have personally experienced this when someone who was following me on Twitter came to a book signing of mine where we met in real life. I’ve also developed wonderful friendships from people I have met on Facebook and Twitter as a result of speaking at social media conferences.
I believe in casting a wide net for both business and romantic relationships through the use of social networking. The healthiest relationships are a result of both online and offline communications.
Cyber-dating expert Julie Spira said she has witnessed the positive and negative effects the Internet can have on relationships.
“The Internet can be used as a tool to enhance your life,” she said.
Spira, who helped host September’s Social Media Week in Los Angeles, first created an online profile in 1994. Since then, she has been on “hundreds and hundreds” of dates, received four marriage proposals and learned of the many hazards of online communication.
In her book, “The Perils of Cyber-Dating,” released in September, Spira aims to inform dating site users — particularly women — of the many “red flags” of online dating. There are a lot of risks, Spira said, who claims that misrepresentation is a common problem.
According to her research, she said women often lie about their age and weight in their online profiles, hoping to appear more appealing by representing themselves as younger and thinner. Similarly, she observed, men often inflate their salaries and shorter men typically claim to be two inches taller.
“A third of men online that claim to be single are married or just separated,” said Spira. “It’s important to take time to talk to people, to see if their stories add up.”
The recently-released movie “Catfish” is a documentary-thriller about New York-based photographer Nev Shulman who engaged in a long-distance romantic relationship with a woman he met on the Internet. Eventually, he discovered that the woman he was actually talking to was a married middle-aged woman who used a stranger’s photos as her own and represented herself as her own, non-existent daughter, a 20-something amateur model. She created and monitored numerous accounts, some of fictitious people and some based on actual people.
As it turns out, the twenty-something that Shulman thought he was getting involved with was a bored Midwestern housewife with three kids.
But despite the “red flags” and perils of online dating like those in “Catfish,” Spira said the Internet is still an important — and beneficial — tool.
“It’s a combination of romantic and social networking,” Spira said, citing business relationships she has formed with men she’s met online. In one case, she was introduced to an agent by a “failed date.”
Drawing a simile between romantic networking online and sending out resumes, Spira said the Internet is “a way to expand your social and business networks.”
Spira, acknowledging the risks associated with online communication, said that it’s important to transition relationships from online to offline as soon as possible.
“You need to use the Internet as a tool,” she said.
But sometimes, she said, people build trust with those they’ve never met and share private information, including deeply personal beliefs or financial information.
“It can be risky,” Spira said.
Filed under Social Notebook · Tagged with How Networking Online Benefits Relationships, Huntington News, julie spira, online and offline networking, social media, Social Media and More, social media expert, social networking, social networking for business, social networking for love, social networking for romance, The Perils of Cyberdating
I must admit after returning from BlogWorld 10, the world’s largest social media conference, I regretted getting on the scale. I spent most of my time at Blog World eating, tweeting, and blogging.
There was no shortage of food being discussed and consumed at the 10th annual social media and blogging conference. The TECHmunch stage was one of the highlights of the event. Everything from co-founder Rick Calvert’s personal favorite salsa recipe to my friend and author Marsha Collier interviewing Craig “Meathead” Goldwyn, the barbecue whisperer from AmazingRibs.com.
I very much enjoyed the TECHmunch panel, Working with Brands at the BlogWorld kitchen and regretfully missed the Fancy Fast Food Challenge with Erik Trinidad from FancyFastFood.com.
One of the highlights was the BlogWorld Bistro Tasting hosted by Omaha Steaks at the Foundation Room at House of Blues at Mandalay Bay. Executive Chef Karl Marsh was on hand serving amazing appetizers including Filet Mignon Spring Rolls, Bull Wings, and Jumbo Cooked Shrimp from their collection. Much to my surprise, their dessert display included Milk Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies and Cream Puffs. They now have an iPhone app called Steak Time.
From PR plans to setting up your digital kitchen to the many private tastings throughout Las Vegas, We ate, tweeted, and blogged the whole conference through.
Congratulations to Rick Calvert and Dave Cynkin, co-founders of BlogWorld on a very successful and wonderful experience for social media enthusiasts. It’s time to go on a BlogWorld diet, but I look forward to seeing everyone again at BlogWorld 11.
For those who are addicted to their social networking sites and have enjoyed watching their Klout score rise, there’s good news for you.
Klout, who collects data from your Twitter account has now added Facebook to the equation. As a result, your Klout score may go up and there’s a bunch of new graphs to enjoy.
For those who don’t know what Klout is, it’s a system that rates your online influence in a variety of categories. It isn’t about the number of your followers or fans, but the quality of your content, engagement, and followers on the social web.
You can secretly obsess about your Klout score or share it on Twitter or Facebook for the world to see.
Not only can see the details of your score summary, true reach, amplification, and network, but you’ll become categorized as a social media type. With Facebook added to the equation, you won’t only see your Retweets, but you’ll get a summary of your total likes, total comments, and unique likers as well.
You’ll see your network score with your true reach and a variety of graphs.
Interested in finding out your Klout personality type? It’s uncanny, but seems to be accurate with most of the social media people I know.
For more information, visit Klout.com
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Julie has always been on the leading edge of internet expertise. She was there when the web first became a viable commercial medium and was a leader in understanding and executing in Web 2.0.